


The angel and the snake

by TheGirlWithBrightEyes



Series: Fragments of Life [17]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Fluff, Getting a car, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, Sappy, Slice of Life, Snake Crowley (Good Omens), Snake Cuddles, Soft Crowley (Good Omens), South Downs Cottage (Good Omens), snake - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-17 22:23:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20628506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGirlWithBrightEyes/pseuds/TheGirlWithBrightEyes
Summary: Aziraphale decides he wants to learn how to drive and Crowley has to go through the mortifying process of helping his angel find an adequately 'cute' car...Rating is for some language on Crowley's part (surprise!)





	The angel and the snake

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, I am so sorry! This just popped into my head and I couldn't resist! The mere idea of Crowley driving a tiny, pink city car had me laughing until I cried...

Crowley and Aziraphale was in the middle of their breakfast, kitchen door ajar to let in bird song from the garden outside. It was May and fairly warm, a comfortable late spring morning with Aziraphale reading the morning paper and Crowley leaning back drinking coffee. At least he was, until Aziraphale made him choke on it and spray half the kitchen with it by saying entirely out of the blue without taking his eyes off the newspaper:

"I've been considering learning to drive." Crowley sputtered, coffee dripping down his chin, eyes wide.

"You've been what now?" he managed, swallowing painfully and almost choking again. Aziraphale had looked up from the paper at the choked noise and blinked owlishly at him, before he quickly got up to get a towel to wipe the demon - and the floor - down.

"Goodness, Crowley!" he said, taking his chin in one hand as he dabbed at his face with the towel. "I hope you didn't burn yourself!" Crowley shook his head feeling slightly dazed.

"No-o, 'm fine. B-but what brought this up? You driving? You hate being in a car!" he said, waving his arms around. Aziraphale went pink from where he was squatting on the floor, rubbing the stone tiles.

"I don't hate cars, dearest," he said quite sheepishly. "Your driving is just a tad, well...reckless," he decided on and Crowley gave a sort of noncommittal, wiggly shrug. He couldn't really fault him there. "But I figured that it might be good idea if I learned, too. It's not like I can take a bus out here and I can't have you driving me every time I get a whim." Crowley looked at him as he stood, wringing the towel slightly nervously in his hands.

"Don't really mind driving you, angel," Crowley mumbled, then drew a breath he let out slowly. "Fine, yeah, whatever you like. I'll teach you." It was like the sun came out, the smile Aziraphale had so radiant that Crowley half wished he had his shades on. He felt his whole head heat up in a blush and sunk lower into the chair with a resigned sigh. What on Earth had he gotten himself into this time?

"Thank you, dearest!" Aziraphale cheered happily, swiping the coffee cup Crowley had abandoned to refill it. Crowley buried his face in one hand, wishing for neither the first nor the last time that he had better resistance to Aziraphale's requests. Especially those that, one way or another, were at his expense...

\---

Of course, Aziraphale being a habitual creature meant that he would only learn a single car - so Crowley had to go through the quite mortifying process of finding the angel his own car first. It was absolute murder on Crowley's style, because where the demon adored his sleek, black and chrome Bentley, Aziraphale's taste in cars turned out to be about as far from his as sorbet ice cream from a bloody steak.

Aziraphale's most important feature in a car, was that it was cute. Crowley found himself growing more and more exasperated as Aziraphale went through this week's heap of newspapers and circled all cars that fit that description. Every single one of them were tiny city cars in a wide array of colours. This in itself wasn't really a problem, but Crowley knew full well it meant something that he'd rather not think about: he'd be forced to test drive the cars they were looking at until Aziraphale found one he liked.

The mere thought was enough to make it very difficult for him to focus on the adverts his angel was pouring over without agonizing over this single fact.

"Oh relax, dearest," Aziraphale smiled at him with a chuckle, kissing his temple as he wrapped an arm around his back. "It's only a car! Don't you think it would be a good idea for me to have my own?" The demon crumpled, more or less ending up on Aziraphale's lap. The angel ran his fingers through his hair, scratching the short hairs at the back of his neck giving him goose bumps.

"'Course it's a good idea," Crowley muttered into Aziraphale's thigh. "Never could deny you anything, anyway," he groaned, almost folding his gangly body in half as he turned over to face the angel, legs slipping over the armrest of the sofa. Aziraphale looked tenderly down on him.

"And I love you for it," the angel said warmly, leaning down to place a tiny kiss on the tip of Crowley's nose, causing him to blush. "I will decide on four cars to try out. Would your style survive that for me?" Crowley deflated, mouth twitching slightly before he reached up to cup Aziraphale's face, rubbing lightly over his cheek with his thumb.

"Course I will, angel," he said softly, once more almost blinded by a dazzling smile.

\---

Of course, it was one thing to be unable to deny Aziraphale anything the angel wanted - a whole other thing to follow through with it. Despite doing his very best to be laid back and cool as he parked the gleaming Bentley down the driveway of the first car seller's house. It was plain torture to first small talk to the humans - then be presented with a tiny, shockingly yellow car dubbed 'cute' by the angel, and then be forced to fold himself in behind the wheel to drive the angel around the block in it.

It felt like driving a toy car and was about as not cool as it could get, and it didn't get better when Aziraphale tittered happily at his embarrassment, patting his blushing cheek in plain view of the sellers.

At the third car, he felt sure he'd discorporate from the whole process.

"Do we have to go through this a fourth time?" he found himself whining at Aziraphale as they drove off, near tears from exasperation. The angel gave him an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry, Crowley. I know this isn't your cup of tea..."Crowley groaned, just about managing to take a roundabout properly instead of just going straight through it. He more heard than saw Aziraphale suck a breath through his teeth, latching onto the strap by his door.

"Not my cup of tea?" Crowley repeated, voice pitching. "'Course it's not my bloody cup of tea! I have never in my life - ever - bought anything on the criteria that it's 'cute'". He let out a huff, annoyance fading slightly. "Oh all right, but just one more then you have to decide because I have never been so humiliated in my life before!" There was a slight pause as Aziraphale considered this.

"Not even that time in the 12th century when..."he started, Crowley almost hitting a dustbin in shock, all colour draining from his face.

"Apart from that one, yes!" he cut him short, panicking because he really did not want to think about it. "_Besides_ that one. Yes. What's the next bloody car?" he added quickly, desperate to derail the angel's trail of thought before he brought up more contenders to 'most humiliating moment in demon Crowley's life'.

"Oh. It's a Ford...Ka?" the angel frowned at his news clipping. Crowley blinked.

"Kaa?" he repeated, unsure if he'd heard that right. The angel hummed slightly before nodding.

"Yes. Yes, I think so. And before you ask - no, it's not pink. It's actually orange with black bumpers. I think. The picture is really ridiculously tiny..."he said, squinting as he held the clipping up. A mischievous grin spread over Crowley's face, relaxing visibly from his earlier discomfort.

"All right, angel. Let's have a look at that one," he agreed, taking the angel quite by surprise. Now very suspicious, the angel was quiet and looked rather thoughtful the rest of the ride until they parked by the seller - this time a company. Crowley, now quite a great deal happier, startled Aziraphale by taking the lead indoors. One of the sellers abandoned his computer to come over to them.

"Can I help you?" he said with a toothy smile that Crowley returned, Aziraphale's suspicion growing at an alarming rate.

"We're here to look at a Ford _Kaa_," Crowley said pointedly with his most charming grin. "Appointment on Mr. Fell," he nodded in the angel's direction. This time, it was Aziraphale who looked rather uncomfortable and could only manage a small wave an a nervous smile. The seller nodded, smile fixed as he waved them over to the computer to check which car it was they had an appointment for, before leading them on to a row of used city cars.

There it was, at the end of the row. A Ford Ka from 2008 - which was in fact copper and not orange, much to Crowley's delight. He gave Aziraphale a big grin, looking so pleased the angel ended up blushing before he gave the demon a rather reproachful look that said 'I know you're up to something but I don't know what' before he passed him to look closer at the car.

"It really is a nice car," he said slowly, trying to figure out what had reeled Crowley up. "Should we try it?" he asked tentatively and the demon jerked his head to the side with a wink.

"'Course we should, angel," he said cheerfully. "Keys?" he said to the seller, who still had his smile plastered on as he held out the keys, Crowley conveniently making him forget he needed to see a license. Crowley didn't, after all, actually have a valid license since the only car he'd ever owned hadn't required one even remotely similar to modern ones when he bought it off the factory in 1926.

As they drove around the block, Crowley not once complaining at having to fold himself over like a pocket knife, Aziraphale was turning this way and that looking the car over, frowning. Finally, he threw his hands up.

"I give up," he cried, rubbing his hands over his face. "What is it about this particular car that you don't mind?" he said, giving Crowley a rather weary look. The demon flashed him a smile.

"Well...it's copper...and black...and it's sharing its name with a snake from a movie," Crowley said happily. Aziraphale blinked, going 'oh'. "Rather redeeming qualities so I can forgive it for being cute." At that, the angel couldn't help it. He snorted and started laughing helplessly.

"Oh you silly old serpent!" he said through laughter, wiping at his tears. "Let's go back to the seller. I think I rather like this car for some strange reason." He smiled happily at Crowley, slapping his knee playfully. The demon admitted the day could have been a lot less humiliating, but it seemed to at the very least end quite well.

\---

After convincing the car seller to get the car home to them at a later point, they drove back home to their cottage only stopping on their way to get takeout for supper. Aziraphale was in a good mood all the way back, throwing Crowley overly fond looks now and again until the demon was getting rather flustered and anxious to get home.

They had their supper in the living room, Aziraphale chatting happily about future driving lessons while Crowley simply listened to him. To watch Aziraphale so animated was one of his favourite pastimes, after all. It wasn't until the food was finished that Aziraphale changed the subject by slapping his knees.

"Well, seen as you have really indulged me today, my love, I feel I really ought to reward you for your patience," he said happily, smiling as he got up. "One moment." Crowley watched him go, puzzled but intrigued. He hadn't really expected any reward and couldn't honestly say he'd been on his best behaviour.

The angel was gone for a little while and he could hear the kettle, but when Aziraphale returned it wasn't with tea. He was carrying the large, furry hot water bottle he'd gifted Crowley around Christmas and a large, soft brush. Crowley's eyes widened, jaw slackening.

"What do you say, my dear?" Aziraphale said happily as he sat down, putting the water bottle over his lap, patting it softly as he wiggled the brush. Crowley let out a groan, joints melting.

"Yesss," he managed, licking his lips leisurely as his body changed into snake form, doubling over himself to slither over to Aziraphale's lap. The heat of the water bottle felt wonderful after the day, and he curled up the best he could on it. Aziraphale caressed him as he went, kissing his forehead gently before he settled down. When the brush started to softly join the angel's hands over his scales, Crowley found he didn't mind humiliating himself now and then for his angel if this was the reward he would get.

Aziraphale hummed happily as he cuddled his lapful of snake, now and then kissing Crowley's head where it lay resting on his shoulder at the crook of his neck.

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaand if anyone has not actually watched Jungle Book, that's where the snake 'Kaa' comes from (and possibly earlier sources, but it's the snake I think about when I see a Ford Ka...).
> 
> If anyone wonders what the car looks like: http://www.roadsmile.com/images/ford-ka_key_17.jpg


End file.
